I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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