so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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