Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
