I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
