so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
