she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He shit in the fireplace
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
