Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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