Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
