I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
