what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
