thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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