so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
