he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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