You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
