So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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