guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
