We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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