do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
