I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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