If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
