...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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