I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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