Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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