There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
