Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize