cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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