If that was your dad, he is hot
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
