I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
