You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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