WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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