he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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