we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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