I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
