So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
