I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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