I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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