It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize