It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
