wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
