I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
