sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
