Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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