Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
