The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
