I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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