Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
