He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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