Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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