its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need water and some morals
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
