That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
