I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
